


The Silent Screams of a Social Awkward

by BlackHilda



Category: Suits (TV)
Genre: Caring Harvey, Eventual Romance, Fluff and Angst, Harvey's childhood sucks, Harvey's the king of dorks, Hurt Harvey, I hope for a happy ending, M/M, Mike has puppy eyes, Mike knows Harvey cares, Panic Attacks, guess I'll do it on the way, idk what else I can add
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-18
Updated: 2017-06-18
Packaged: 2018-11-15 16:41:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,777
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11235015
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlackHilda/pseuds/BlackHilda
Summary: Louis had just touched a nerve, even though, it was just the tip of the iceberg.





	The Silent Screams of a Social Awkward

**Author's Note:**

> This fanfiction is placed in season 5 at the end of episode 7 when Louis confront Harvey about having slept with Esther when he promised not to. A little spoiler alert, but anyway soon enough everything is out of my imagination.
> 
> With that being said, enjoy yourselves

“… I find out that you’re nothing but a lying cheating…” the harsh words of Louis were interrupted by the sudden angry voice of Harvey.

“I didn’t cheat with Esther!” his voice filled with uneasiness concealed with irritation “It was two grown people making a goddamn decision for themselves”

“Well, that decision ended with her walking out of here near tears because she didn’t have all the facts” Louis' voice was cynical, but not less harsh than before, even more, if possible “Like the fact that that you’re a serial womanizer who can’t stand with anyone else…” Louis’s words were a straight punch in the gut.

“Shut the hell up!” Harvey screamed, his stomach twisted painfully.

“So, he takes whatever woman inside…” Louis continued, paying no attention to the other man.

“I’m telling you…” Harvey’s voice filled with thread, his muscles tensing in anticipation; his expression inscrutable.

“Because he’s so messed up for whatever goddamn thing happened to him in his pathetic childhood…” Louis winced awfully, his face contracting with a mix of hatred and disgust.

“Shut the hell up!” again Harvey’s mind clouded with memories of his mother, the scream sounded exasperated; albeit, without context, you would wrongly assume that it was caused because of Louis’s words, but in that moment, it wasn’t only Louis talking to him, but his mother.

“He can’t…” after the other man had the chance of saying anything else, his world was shaken by a sudden sharp pain in his left cheek. Harvey had punched him. Now on the floor, Louis was perplexed for one second or two, but soon enough he was throwing himself over Harvey with a dog-like growl. Almost as reflex Harvey throw Louis again, albeit now into the crystal coffee table, thousands of shards of thick glass being scattered on the floor and furniture. Harvey’s eyes widened slightly in shock, just then Jessica entered the room; astonishment washing over her elegant features while she looked in horror at Louis.

“Harvey” she breathed.

“Get away from me” Louis’s voice was coerced, slightly higher at the end. The pain overwhelming him as he forced the words out.

“You get the hell out of here” was all the woman said enraged, walking hurriedly to Louis’s side.

Taking a long breath Harvey closed his eyes, already tasting the bitter taste of raw vomit in his throat. His eyes dropped like a puppy’s as he opened them to the sight of Jessica aiding the shorter man; a tornado of negative feelings making their way in him: pity, regret, sorrow and some other’s he couldn’t recognize but that left a piercing pain in his chest. With a last look, he let out a defeated sigh and left the room, opening the glass door with shaky hands, black dots already forming in the corners of his vision. After that, he again drifted between reality and memories long buried in the back of his mind.

 

He didn’t recall _how_ he got to his condo, but he couldn’t care less. He was tired and his belly hurt. His muscles _ache_ for rest; for the warm coziness of his bed, while at the same time his stomach twisted in apparently not impossible ways. Stumbling like a new born his vision blacked out again, now with a new determination for sleep he decided that the floor was good enough. Collapsing on it, he started a new wave of drifting between unconsciousness and angrily puking while in the mid time having painfully long spasms and confusedly looking at his furniture. He was having a panic attack, a heavy duty one, that was all he knew. At some point, he heard angry knocks and somebody’s annoyingly loud voice screaming what seemed to be highly unappropriated words. Still, he was too tired to even care. After throwing all his stomach contents (and probably more) his eyes felt incredibly heavy and the idea of falling asleep right there was unimaginable attractive. After vaguely considerate the pros and contras of getting up and opening the door, he believed better to just rest and worry about it later. Closing his eyes full with self-satisfaction because of his wisdom he finally drifted to a dreamless sleep, just warm darkness and a silent promise of rest.

 

There he woke up next morning, surrounded by smelly dry puke mixed with a little of blood, he winced. Already a headache forming in the back of his mind as he stood up and murmured a mute curse for his wrinkled suit. _Perfect_ , was all he thought. Dragging his sore body to his bathroom he almost yelped at his reflection; he looked like hell. Blueish eye bags hang of his eyes, a crust of dry blood in his right temple was enough to know _where_ he had hit last night when he collapsed on the floor, his sweaty hair was disgustingly sticking to his forehead and as he undressed himself he could already see the soon to be bruised parts of his body. Sighing he threw the ruined clothes to a corner, making a mental note to donate them to some random church or something. Opening the faucet of the shower cold water start pouring of it, quickly changing it to hot he put it the hotter it could get, letting it burn his tan skin. He wasn't sure how much time had passed, but his skin was redder that he had ever seen it, clutching his fists with sudden anger he tried to give deep breaths only noticing then the large amount of steam that had formed, quickly turning off the water he opened the window and started the air extractor. Rolling up a towel at his hips he left the room, leaving a trail of puddles of water behind him and into his bedroom. Looking thoughtfully at his bed for a second he decided to get dressed. Without even thinking he took an old Harvard hoodie and some random sweatpants, walking zombie-like to his kitchen counter, Harvey, yawn sheepishly. Almost as a reflex he opened some drawers and took a box of colorful cereal and a bowl, almost instantly he repeated the process, this time with the fridge, taking an organic orange juice box. Because, yeah, Harvey ate his cereals with juice, a very expensive juice, I should add. Mechanically he put just enough cereal to almost fall off the bowl and just enough juice to wet the half of it, taking a spoon of the sink he pretty much dropped to the floor and start eating in a very lazy way, his eyes fixed on the wall in front of him. After some minutes of just staring blankly at the wall, Harvey was startled by the sound of his phone. He didn’t bother to answer, he just kept eating his now soaking wet distasteful cereals. A monotone woman voice notice him that he had a new message and then the phone tape start playing, letting through the strong voice of a woman filled the silent room, her voice was calm but a had a hard undertone. _Jessica_ , the name popped automatically after hearing the first syllable.

 

“ _Harvey you better not even think of getting your ass near the firm, you’re officially on vacations for the next two weeks effect immediately_ ” Jessica’s voice was filled with silent warning “ _We’ll talk later_ ” and again the bored woman’s voice returned informing him that the message was over.

 

Again silent filled the large apartment, only being broken time to time at the sound of the metal spoon hitting softly the bowl. After what appear to almost be an hour he finally finish his cereals, lazily getting onto his feet he carelessly put the bowl on the sink and drag himself to the couch, where he laid looking to the black screen of his television until he found the strength to take the remote control and _actually_ press the ‘on’ button. The loud cheers of people and the random comments here and there thrown by the husky voice of two men’s in their early forty’s acted as white noise to Harvey, he had grown up listening to the sound of the baseball plays, just as other kids had grown up listening to the sound of rain or the smell of sea salt. His limbs were still sore from sleeping on the floor and for all that his skin still felt sensitive from the hot shower he took before. Closing his eyes and pressing with his thumb and index finger on the bridge of his nose, a long exhalation slip from his dehydrated lips. Suddenly remembering that he had a phone he tried to reach it in his pocket, only to be surprised at the fact that he didn’t have it. He always had his phone with him, was the thought that crossed his mind while frowning lightly. Making memory, he recalled that it was in the pocket of his jacket which he had thrown away when he got in the shower. Groaning he stood up and walk slowly to the bathroom. He felt incredibly unmotivated, anyway that wasn’t good enough reason to shut up the workaholic inside of him, so he got his phone and turned off the air extractor that had been long ago forgotten. Checking his messages he could felt his face tightening with pain, he was alone and when he was alone he couldn’t fool anyone with false anger or sarcastic care-free jokes. Then he saw Mike’s messages, his face lightening all of a sudden as he read the stupid quotes that his young associate make or at least that was until his eyes meet with the last message and his wide smile fell onto a shocked expression.

 

“ _By the way, ’Today, I considered myself the luckiest man on the face of the earth’_ “ he quote “ _After all, I got promoted to Junior Partner”_  then a new message popped “ _Not that I want to show off or anything like that, but, I’m awesome, just saying_ ”

 

Harvey could feel how his eyeballs were almost popping out of their place, rapidly writing an answer he forgot about all the matter that had him so depressed before.

 

“ _‘My mama always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re gonna get’_ ” he texted back. His phone ring again, immediately having a response. Harvey smiled.

 

 “ _Forrest Gump? Really?”_ said Mike’s text.

 

 “ _The Pride of the Yankees? Really_?” he texted back.

 

 ” _Whatever_ ” was his response “ _Shall we celebrate?”_

 

“ _8pm my place_ ” his fingers moved before he knew it “ _Don’t you dare be late_ ”

 

“ _I wouldn’t take the risk_ ” and with that, the subject was settled.

 

Mike was coming over at eight.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoy the first chapter, it was though more of a prelude, albeit I realized it was too long for an introduction. So anyway, see ya' later.
> 
> Always yours, HB


End file.
